I did it... but it was only possible because of you.

I've written and rewritten this blog no less than 17 times. When my dear employee reminded me that I had promised my blog by tonight, I erased all 17 versions and decided to just shoot from the heart, go meet friends for Mexican, and let the Internet world read my word vomit. So excuse the typos and poorly written/ unedited sentences and here we go. 

Back story: I left my husband in early June 2020. It's something I had been trying to do for quite some time but never could find the courage to do. The threats were too terrifying. But when I realized nothing could be worse than the world I was living in I left. I left the life we had built together. We worked and we worked hard. In the middle of all the work, we had babies, 3 of them. But the work, and the babies, and the toxic family members, and the stress added up to poor communication and a boat load of mistakes that I didn't know how to make right. So I left. I started over. I erased the life we had been building for 12 years and started from scratch. I didn't want anything from that toxic life. Not the house, not the companies, not the money, I wanted nothing to do with it. So I started over. I took the amount I estimated would be half of a down payment of a house, figured I could come up with the other half, and set off on my own. (Ok fine. I took my clothes and shoes. I work in fashion after all.)  

September 2020: I rented a tiny rental house in Corinth. Thank God for small town Mississippi because they rented it to me based on my good name and my pinky promise to pay rent. No credit check. No proof of income. Absolutely nothing. Because yall if they had asked for those, I couldn't have given it to them. I had the clothes on my back, my word, and a determination to make it work. I worked my tail off. The Trifecta would ask if we could go out to eat this week or if we needed to save for the new house instead. It was both soul crushing and encouraging at the same time. I wish I could put into words the amount of hours I put in. A precious friend asked me once why in the world I was doing all this and I just replied, "I have a goal. I want a house for my babies." 

You see a house means a lot to me. Like a whole whole lot. My therapist would tell you it's what motivates me most. My mom has struggled with addiction my entire life. I'll pulled up to our childhood house/ townhouse/ apartment to find everything we owned on the curb more times than I could count. Homeless. Foster care. It's all apart of my story. It all shaped how I mother my own children and the priorities I have financially. A roof over our heads that I OWN and no one can ever take away is my top priority. It guides every decision I make. My children will never know what it's like to dig through their belongings on the curb and select only your most prized processions/ what you can fit in your mom's car to take with you. 

2021 - 2022: So I worked. I saved. I sold my designer jewelry that were gifts I no longer cherished. I did everything I could think of to save the cash for a house. It was almost a full time job at times. I now check what houses went on the market every morning before my feet even hit the floor. But the market is insane and it felt like one defeat after another. A bidding war on the house I walked away from. This one was prefect but it's ridiculously priced. Do I over pay just to put a roof over our heads? Another house would look amazing but by the time I got home from working in Murfreesboro it would be sold. It was heartbreaking and felt like it would never end. Until a text message changed my life. 

February 2022: "There's a house that's not on the market yet that you should look at." All I could respond was, "I'm on the way." Yall it was real cute-ish. I mean it was hideous, but it had potential. Don't get it twisted, I wanted a house more than I wanted anything else in the world but I was not overpaying by 1 single dollar. I worked wayyyyyy too hard to give my money away. So I may an offer and prayed. My people prayed. My team absolutely prayed. (Maybe because they were tired of hearing about my house search. Haha!) Yall we went at it. The home owners and I negotiated that house until 2 days before we closed. It's a miracle that my realtor didn't kill me. FINALLY, we closed! I DID IT. I BOUGHT A FLIPPING HOUSE. 

Today: How do I express my gratitude? I do I find the words to say thank you? Thank you doesn't even begin to feel like enough. There's a home with only my name on it for my children and it's all because of you. There's a home that no one can ever take away because of you. There's a home with 3 bedrooms because you shopped during a pandemic. There's a space for me to have a home office because you shopped small this past Christmas season when Amazon was so much easier. There's a home with a backyard for our dogs because you sent us employees looking for a job during a challenging time.  

So yes I did it, but it was only possible because of you. 

❤️CB