I sat down to tackle some work in an airport lounge for EK but what came out was completely different than I had planned. That's what I've learned about writing over the years. You have absolutely no control over it. It can hit you like a ton of bricks and you can't do anything else until you get the thoughts out on paper. Other times, you stare at the screen for an eternity and nothing comes out. I planned on writing content for a *top secret* project I'm working on but instead what poured out of my soul and fingers was what led me to this exact moment and how it affects EK.
What will be posted on this blog? I have absolutely no idea. But I do know it will absolutely be real, authentic, and is guaranteed to have typos. Will I post every week? Every month? Again, I have no idea. I'll post when the spirit leads me and I won't when it doesn't. I will not follow any rules, regulations, or guidelines. Every teacher I've ever had just rolled their eyes and thought, "No surprises there!" Anyone remember when I talked about dressing room trauma on Christmas Eve this past year? 🙈 Yep, I'll never be a rule follower.
In closing, I'm tired of my writing dying in dark corners of the internet. It needs a home. The Well Dressed & Very Tired Mama is it's new home. So without further ado, here's a few airport lounge thoughts about childhood trauma and how it became something even more beautiful that I ever could have imagined.
Someone once asked me, "What drives me?" I don't remember what line of BS I rattled off in the interview but I'll never forget the question. I wonder what would have happened if I had said the truth? What if I replied, "I'm still trying to prove the people wrong who told me I would never amount to anything in life." The "You'll be just like your mom" and the "Don't call me when you're 16 & pregnant. I won't do anything but tell you I told ya so." I will always wonder what would have happened if I replied, "I'm still trying to prove, sometimes unconsciously, that I am worthy of love. That my young self quickly made the connection between achievement and attention/love and I work every damn day to NOT find my self worth in a completed to do list."
No matter what you have been through. No matter how hard things are or have been, you can heal. You can thrive. You can have peace. Statically I shouldn't have made it here. Homelessness. Foster Care. Poverty. Addiction. Physical Abuse. Sexual Abuse. Mental Abuse. Self harm. It's all a part of my story. It's all led me to this exact place. It's given me an unlimited amount of compassion. It allows me to listen without judgement. It allows me to be welcoming to all no matter their current status or their past.
I hope that's what you feel when you walk in the doors of EK. I hope you feel loved and welcomed just as you are. I hope you know we are always down for a hug, a chat, or a cup of coffee together. There's a chair with your name on it if you ever need a safe space. Yes, we sell clothes. It pays the light bill. But EK is so much more than that. So in a world with an abundance of online shopping and hustle and bustle, take the time to walk in our doors. I promise you'll feel loved just as you are.